Red Woman

This name, Red Woman, came to me slowly and also in an afternoon. That afternoon, I was listening to our traditional Chiefs speak in the red hot sun of South Dakota. My face was red. Red with sunburn - I am a half Blood after all. Mostly I was Red with rage. Red with tears. Tears of anger. Tears of shame. Tears of outrage. Tears of grief. Tears of heart-wrenching sorrow and searing torture. Tears of remembering what my mothers and fathers and all of my ancestors have endured. Tears of momentary thoughts of what little I have endured. And I felt more Red - more of an Indian - listening to these Traditional Chiefs speak, with all the emotions I was feeling with their words, their words in our language, that somehow the Spirits and Ancestors blessed me to understand. I felt a connection to the pain, the agony, the humiliation, the mutilation, the fear, the courage, the lives, the deaths of my ancestors. There was no more "half" any more. That afternoon I knew I was an Indian, and connected to my Indian ancestors by stronger bonds than to anyone else, anything else. And I knew what it meant to be Indian more than ever before. Because the abuse, the outrages, the humiliation, the desecration, the lives, the deaths in subjugation and resistance...they are all still very much alive. Just as we are not vanished or a vanquished Peoples, we are subject to the worst lives and the worst deaths. The lack of self-sufficiency, taken from us with the land, for what, for gold, mazaska. What else can be taken from a person, from a People, that could be more eviscerating than self-sufficiency? Do we Ghost Dance to bring back the self-sufficiency, the peace, the pride, the independence, the work, the lives, the deaths we once had? And did they try to stop us from the Ghost Dance? And did they succeed? And I know that we do not feel anger. We do not feel rage. We are contemplative people, as individuals communing, communicating, with Wakan Tanka and the Wakan Spirits, and as communities, communing, communicating with each other, to find what is wrong, and what to do about it. I think of Crazy Horse, not at all crazy. He spent much time in "solitude" - listening for Wakan Tanka and the Wakan Spirits to guide him, away from people and things, distractions, into Nature and silence, coming into harmony with Our Spirits, only listening, only empty, to be filled with what Our Spirits would tell him to do. He realized that the Wasicupe were determined to take all of our land, kill all of our people. And he knew that he must act, act in self-defense. Wasicupe know lust that drives them as hard as our love of Our Spirits, our Ancestors, the rest of Creation - lust for land, gold, Mazaska, material things...oil, uranium. Wasicupe know hate that drives them to injure, mutilate, and eradicate Creation, two-leggeds, and Nature - to get more land, gold, Mazaska, material things...though they tell themselves it is hatred of NON-Christians, NON-whites, NON-Civilized, NON-humans. And without that driving, insatiable lust, without that driving, relentless hate, Crazy Horse, had to fight it, had to act in self-defense of his People, of us, as we do today. We felt and feel no lust, no hatred, but we must fight to protect our Sacred Sites, our relatives, Sacred Nature, our Relatives - all Peoples, from two-leggeds to Crawling Ones, to Tree People...All Creature of Creation. And we must remember, through our talking ways, that we are not angry people, we are not hateful people. We are Red, but with sorrow, and with determination, and with conviction, that we MUST defend our People, as we MUST defend our Ways, as we MUST defend our Sacred Sites, as we MUST return to our Ways, as we MUST return to our LIVES, to our challenging, Spiritual, self-sufficient, loving, communal lives. I am reborn, as Red Woman. Wopila. We are all being reborn. Wopila.